In Less than a Week

In less than a week, I will leave my wonderful husband, my know-it-all big boy and my beautiful baby to go on a trip to Cancun.  I will be going to a place that has no idea that I am mommy and that I have the cutest baby on Earth and the sweetest little boy.  I will just be Heather.  No one will call me Mommy, no one will meet my children, no one will know that I work for an aeronautics company and am the only female engineer in my area.  I will meet interesting people and do interesting things.  These people will be adults and do things that adults do.  I will probably meet people who don’t quote Star Trek and are probably not anticipating the next Vulkon convention.  I will meet other people who will not know that Elmo is a little red monster on Sesame Street.

This feels weird.  I really don’t know what I like to do anymore that doesn’t have to do with kids or work.  I do like to read..I know that…. I read about 15 –30 minutes a day before I go to bed.  That is my “me time”.  Wonder what else I enjoy that doesn’t involve my kids or my husband.  Interesting! 

I will be “free.”  I will not be rushing to daycare to get the kids before it closes.  I will not be chauffeuring Grant to his swim lessons.  I will go to bed at night and know that a little boy who is terrified of monsters will not wake me up.  I will fall asleep knowing that I will not have to stuff a paci in the baby’s mouth an hour later.  Weird…   and exhilarating….and scary….

I just might find out that my family doesn’t need me as much as I would like to believe.  That the kids will be fed and make it to school and home just fine without me.  One thing is for certain…I love being Mommy and maybe if I took some time out, I would do a better job.  Knowing me, on the flight back home, my stomach will be knots.  I will be way too excited to enjoy the last few hours of my freedom…. I know that I will miss my boys – all of them and I will being doing our silly group hugs the rest of the evening. 

Let’s just hope that Miles doesn’t get mad.  I have heard of that happening when one parent goes away that when they come back, the baby will not look at the parent.  How heartbreaking!