Laughing

These days, I laugh giggle uncontrollably at work meetings.  I am trying.  I remember fondly of the days (before Toastmasters) where you couldn't hear a peep out of me in a meeting. Sometimes, I was asked a question and I would try to answer and my face would turn red and nothing came out.  These days, I drink water, chew gum, anything to keep my BIG mouth shut.  It is not working.  I hear the funniest things from my meetings and I giggle.  Nervous giggling is what it is.

If I didn't laugh, I would cry.. (I guess this is where we are).

Every meeting, I feel like somehow another rug was pulled out from under me.  I don't blame my bosses.  They are probably feeling the same way.  I don't understand our business executives but hey, I didn't get a business degree. What do I know?

We are all waiting.. waiting for a pink slip. Waiting to be told our life has changed.

See all these years, I thought Plan B was some sort of birth control.  These days, I am told "make sure you have a plan B."   Plan B is supposed to be a life raft.  The ship is sinking and the life raft is out there and it is up to us to find ourselves a plan B.  In the past, we had help finding plan B.  The problem is that there are not many life rafts available.

The writing was on the wall.. that is what I hear when a whole group is shut down.  Yes, the writing was on the wall. but the blows are still pretty powerful.  Meetings are very scary these days and we have lots of them.  Once upon a time, I ignored "all hands" meetings. They were usually big pats on the back.  "We have the BEST *&^%$$& team in the world."  "You guys are important and you bring us new business."  Well, now we don't hear this.

We hear:
"We need to be more accountable." (yeah, like our CEO sleeping around with a subordinate)
"We have very hard decisions to make." (Yeah you do.. these are people's lives, lives they have known for 15, 20, 30 years)
"We will layoff 3 percent by such and such date.  Don't be upset that isn't that many people!"
"We will start reorganization again and there will be great opportunities available!" (reorg = layoffs)
And we are getting uncontrollably giggling.. Some of our higher ups have the same problem I do...
Nervous laughing.

We will be OK.  It is the waiting that is so hard. And the survivor's guilt for those who are left.  Sad.